What way is up?
On Saturday, Eduardo, my awesome brother and nephew, and some great friends packed a 20 foot shipping container with all my worldly goods and watched them drive off into the ether. Ok, I just looked up the definition of "ether" and no my property did not take flight into the upper sky beyond the clouds nor did it travel through a pleasant-smelling colorless volatile liquid that is highly flammable. But it's still a nice word! I did discover that someone grabbed a bag and packed it that shouldn't have gone in the shipping container that will take 4 to 6 weeks to reach us, but who really needs 80% of the underwear?? While it was wonderful to get that massive item checked off our list, it wasn't the highlight of my day. The highlight was when EVERYTHING we were taking with us fit in the container and I got the glorious moment to look my husband in the face, in front of witnesses no less, and give him a giant "I TOLD YOU SO." Keep in mine, I've never once claimed to be a mature adult. But that is said and done. Thank you blessed God. I can't even explain the massive amount of stress that was lifted from my shoulders watching it drive away.
In about 4 hours, I will be dropped off at an airport ready to leave a whole life behind and start a new one. Yes, I should be sleeping but that's just not going to happen at this moment. I am 1/3 super excited and 1/3 emotionally raw and 1/3 terrified. So let me treat this blog post like a therapy session because this is my blog and I do what I want.
- Super excited! I am moving to Costa Rica! Really, I am going to live in a beautiful country with mountains and rain forest, with beautiful coat lines and natural hot spring rivers. A country that has amazing animals like sloths, toucans, peccary, oelets, and coati. A country that has great health care, great people, and no winter at all. I get to live in Heredia for a few months and get to know Eduardo's family better and see him around them. I get to build three little metal bunkers and decorate them just as I want. I get to have my jewelry business and display them at the beach markets and work on getting them into shops. I get to live close to the ocean and experience life at my own pace. It's a life altering adventure and I've always wanted a grand adventure. I am super excited about all of that.
- I am totally emotionally wasted. It has been 5 months of preparations, packing, purging, getting paperwork put together, and overall chaos at times. It's been slowing saying goodbye to my home. It's been saying goodbye to my friends and family. That one is heart wrenching. Saturday I said goodbye to my old work buddy who has become a good friend. Yesterday I said goodbye to my best friend and that broke me. Today it has been my other best friend, father, my nephew. Tomorrow is the hardest. Tomorrow I say goodbye to my mother. Anyone who knows me knows how gut wrenching that will be. My mother is my everything. That is the goodbye that will break me.
- I am terrified. I don't know the culture. I don't know the language. I don't know if my family in Costa Rica will actually like me. It's hot there and I don't want to sweat to death. The money is different. The people drive like idiots. What if I make no friends? What if I over use sarcasm and everyone thinks I'm an idiot? What if the taxes for the shipping container are $50,000? What if my lego buildings don't fit together well? What if my rentals fall flat? What if we buy a bad car? What if we can't find a car I like? What if we do find a car we like but the clutch is to far away from my short legs to reach? What if no one likes my jewelry and doesn't want to buy any of it? What if I fail?
So, I will need to be up in three hours to start my new life. I know I can do this and I know I was made with the strong stuff. I know there will be hardships and happiness, and defeat, and wins. I know I am ready for this step and have wanted this adventure my whole life. I know it will be ok because I'm a damn hurricane and I refuse to sink.
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